Zombie
by Teargarden dreams
Summary: She doesn't need friends - she only needs herself, she needs this. Because Annie is a woman who is not made out of stone, no matter how desperately she tries to be. (Fill for SNK kink meme; one-shot, masturbation.)


**_Summary_**: She doesn't need friends - she only needs herself, she needs this. Because Annie is a woman who is not made out of stone, no matter how desperately she tries to be. (Fill for the SNK kink meme on DW; Annie self-love/masturbation request, with an emphasis on selfishness.)

* * *

**.::Zombie::.**

**:::**

She rubs at her clit and doesn't think about anything or anyone and wants to disappear.

The euphoria isn't enough to make her stop hating herself.

**:::**

There isn't anyone around in the cabin. Outside, the cicadas chirp in the thick, nighttime air. All of the other girls are down by the river, talking about superficial things, trying to do one another's hair, pretending they aren't perpetually and constantly at war, nearing death as they speak. Whatever.

Annie slides down beneath the covers. She's gotten so misanthropic since she's lived in the training grounds, it almost scares her. Graduation is right around the corner and yet, she feels she has nothing to prove, nothing to gain...

It becomes just a way to ease her own boredom; maybe her own loneliness, too. Though in her mind, even though she tries to push it aside, there's still a small yearning for the warmth of another body at night. Reiner tried to kiss her, put his hands all over her ass one night when they were hiding near the back of dining hall, sneaking some smokes that they managed to pick pocket from one of the advisors when he wasn't looking. It had been a real disaster - he had gotten a shiner and everything, blood all over his clothes and his uniform vest. She hadn't gone easy on him, he had stirred something inside of her beyond just anger - it was the very idea of being touched, being held by another person, given that rare form of security. _It's too tempting_, Annie had thought to herself.

It had been an embarrassment for them both. Weeks have gone by, training sessions have come and gone as usual, and neither of them have spoken to one another. She doesn't really care.

Because no matter how much she wanted it or will want it, even just from instinct alone, Annie will refuse to let herself become close to anyone, here. She makes do with herself and revels in her own selfish, sinful nature.

And it comes naturally to her to reach down the front of her pants to console herself, not minding the thickness in the air, the way the blankets she's thrown over herself are much too hot for this sudden humid, muggy weather, the heat spell they've been having since yesterday afternoon. It comes naturally to touch herself, her mind blank and entirely nowhere, her thoughts only focused around the intense shocks of pleasure wrought from rubbing her thumb a little too roughly against her clit in soft punishment.

She arches her back. It does feel good. With so many people around, Annie hasn't been able to masturbate in weeks. But at least after this, despite the uncomfortable heat of the cabin and the empty ache that will still remain in her chest, she will have the edge taken off. Unlike the other girls, she's gotten intimate with the bare bones of life, its hellish and jagged turns, its merciless knives, shadows and killers. And she will become one of them, too. Annie doesn't need friends, she only needs herself, she needs this.

It doesn't quell her desire, considering all of this. It only makes her pump her palm against herself faster, the callouses she's gotten from the 3D gear providing a desirable friction against the wetness of her body. Annie slips a finger, then two fingers inside of herself and she manages to kick off the blankets almost mistakingly, though she's not truly caring anymore if anyone walks in. She has her own needs to fulfill, and she won't hesitate to fire back that she's heard more than a few of them who have gone unnamed rustling under the covers at night, playing around with themselves, probably. They've all done it.

_We all do it_. Annie bites at her lower lip, feeling her usual controlled front slip away as a few harsh pants slip out of her mouth; self-control is an impossibility and her mantra is true. They all do it. But not in such a twisted way, not as she does, do they?

Annie almost hopes not. She cries out, shortly and bluntly as she managed to hit her G-spot, her legs kicking out just slightly from the sudden bolts of pleasure, her arms hot, her legs hot, her clothes sticky with sweat and her hips taut. And she comes suddenly, less than a moment later due to the intensity of the sensations causing her legs to feel numb and a tingling to come up in her toes, the pleasure rattling through the hollows of her body in intense bursts, relentlessly, her own hand bringing herself to a point between sickness and desire.

She hopes they aren't like her, those other girls. The boys, too. She can tell Reiner certainly isn't, at least. That's good. Her mind is beginning to come down. Annie lays back on the mattress, the aftershocks slow and heady but far from pleasant. She will never feel true pleasure, her heart too cool for it, her body too stiff beyond the automatic response of orgasmic to a mechanical touch.

She has needs, and tonight they've been met. And she'll try to go to sleep, alone, before they all return.

**:::**

"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others."

_― Albert Camus_


End file.
